I had a shocking moment recently when I was watching a commercial made by the Canadian Women’s Foundation which shows a baby shower and a woman giving a gift of a rape whistle to the mother-to-be.  The statistic of 2 out of 3 women being sexually assaulted or raped is then displayed.  Everyone at the baby shower stops laughing and having a good time and the mother to be looks baffled and upset.

I was shocked that the underlying message of the commercial was to stop celebrating having a baby girl because she is likely to end up a victim.  Heaven help us if we ever stop celebrating having baby girls.

In Judaism we are awakening to the celebration of baby girls and adolescent girls with baby naming ceremonies and meaningful Bat Mitzvah ceremonies.  We are watching traditions being created around women re-owning Mikveh and pre-marriage celebrations.  What a shock to see my Canadian media portraying anything that would question the celebration of a baby girl.

I don’t often feel the disconnect between my secular and religious worlds as I did at that moment.  I spoke about this on my video blog since it really stuck with me.  Hopefully we’re seeing a the effects of a bad marketing decision with the commercial and not a new cultural trend.

A few days ago another women praying at the Western Wall in Jerusalem was detained by police.  This time it was not about how she was praying so much as it was what she was wearing.  The woman involved, Deborah Houben, was wearing her tallit which resembled a man’s tallit.  She was also, apparently, wearing it draped over her shoulder similar to the way a man would wear his tallit.

Photo Credit: Women of the Wall

First of all, I’d venture to say that a man wears his tallit draped on his shoulder because it’s long and gets in the way or using his arms.  It is not a religious statement but a practical one.  Secondly, we are now having a discussion of the details of the fashion of wearing a tallit.  Good thing we didn’t waste that precious time praying to God about hunger, poverty, unprotected children, terrorism in the world – indeed worrying about how a woman drapes a prayer shawl is certainly the way to go.

The Rabbi of the Western Wall seems to be at odds with the police over this one.  He said it is illegal for any woman to wear any tallit and that the police should arrest all the women at the wall who are wearing a tallit.  The police understood the law to pertain only to the issue of a ‘man’ tallit versus a ‘woman’ tallit.

"Tefillin Barbie" wouldn't last one minute in the women's section at the Kotel.

I find it ironic that if any non-Jew visits the Western Wall it would be unthinkable to ask them to remove any religious jewelry that reflected their religion.  We would never disrespect another faith or another person in such a way.  Yet, we do not hesitate to do this to each other.  I can’t help but think of the Sages warning that 2,000 years ago we lost everything because of ‘baseless hatred’.

These same Sages taught us that when we are aware of injustice we must react.  If we say nothing then we have in fact said something, since silence is agreement.

I just found out about the ‘Asifa’ gathering last Sunday, May 20, at Citi Field in Queens New York.  This was a gathering of roughly 40,000 Ultra Orthodox Jewish men who assembled against the evils of the internet – in particular it seems, pornography and the secular world that could influence their children.

40,000 Ultra Orthodox Men gather at Citi Field in New York to protest the Internet.

In other words, 40,000 Ultra Orthodox men gathered to state the obvious concerns their communities have about pornography and secularism.  The assembly allowed them to blame the internet for why their children misbehave so much they must be beaten.  Perhaps it is the non-kosher food advertised on the internet that is causing their children to act out and therefore they should be denied food completely.  Maybe it’s all the female voices you can hear singing on the internet that has caused their children to speak up with questions, resulting in making sure their children can’t express any opinion other than their parents’.

If anyone of those 40,000 men could guarantee me that if we block the internet from reaching their communities it will result in their children being nurtured and nourished, free to express their opinions and free of fear of being beaten and abused, I would be the first one organizing petitions.  But of course, why look to the cause of a problem when you won’t even acknowledge there is a problem?  Why search internally for those who desecrate God’s Holy Name by tormenting young ones when it is so easy to blame the internet as the culprit?

Photo Credit: James Estrin/The New York Times

Not since Sinai have tens of thousands of Jews agreed together on something.  Except at Sinai we agreed to accept Torah and its values of peace and wisdom.  This time it was to agree to ignore the issues that profane Torah values and focus on the obvious nonsense that clouds their view.

Not one of our proudest moments.

Just outside of Halifax in Nova Scotia, Canada, a young man wore a t-shirt to his high school that resulted in his being suspended from the school.  William Swinimer, 19, wore a t-shirt that said “Life is Wasted Without Jesus”.  Many students were offended by the shirt (no brainer) and it has sparked really interesting legal debates on the role of religion within someone’s private life as it relates to their freedom of expression.  Ed Morgan, a Canadian legal expert published a great article outlining some of this in the Globe & Mail (May 9, 2012)

In my opinion, there is no question that I am offended anyone would think I wasted my life because Jesus is not my saviour.  But that’s about as far as it goes.  As a Jew, I can think of things that are displayed publicly all the time that are far worse attacks on my heritage and my personal choice.  There is no question that Swinimer lacks sensitivity and judgment in choosing this shirt but I don’t think it crosses legal lines.  I’m more concerned with living in such a politically correct world that we are never allowed to express ourselves in any unique way because we will most certainly be offending someone.

On the one hand we want to control all forms of personal expression that someone else might be hurt by and on the other hand we worry that we’re raising a generation of self-entitled professionals who expect the world to cater to them and look for any and every reason to complain about life being unfair.  Maybe if some of these professionals had to navigate a somewhat less sterile environment of expression earlier in their lives they would have a more realistic expectation of the world.

I don’t condone people insulting and offending each other all the time (I wouldn’t recognize Canada in such a world) but every now and then it’s good to shake things up and do a double check on our freedoms.

We recently moved our head office to the other side of the city.  As with any move, you never imagined you had accumulated so much stuff in so many corners of places you forgot existed in your office.  I actually found myself feeling depressed at the amount of work needed to unpack a few boxes.  I was determined not to unpack useless papers back into so many corners of places I didn’t realize existed in my new office.  So I feel obligated to go through every box, every folder, every page…(I feel like an insane person desperately seeking light and reason – order amidst the chaos).  Is it really as bad as I’m describing? – Yes it is.

Okay, maybe not really that bad but I can’t help but sit in absolute awe of God who could organize a universe of chaos into something that resembled order.  We spend so much time complaining about the world as it is and how God could allow natural disasters and other kinds of seeming injustices but (and now I’m going to get a bit corny), how often do we stop and realize we can’t even unpack an office without blood, sweat and tears, let alone organize a universe.

And the sad part of it all is that the Sages teach us that chaos is a thin green line surrounding the world, waiting to come back in.   In other words, imposing order onto my office is a zero sum game – I’ll never win…oh good, another box is staring at me.  I think I’ll cover it with a pretty scarf and put a vase on it.  Nothing said I can’t redefine my chaos … and when the sun sets tonight, as it did yesterday and will tomorrow and will continue to set in its ordered way, I will be watching it and marvelling at what I’ve taken for granted.  Oh look – I found the paperclips.

Watch a YouTube I put together about this topic.

Valentines Day is coming up and people always ask, “what is the Jewish take on this holiday?” Here is the answer.

Happy Tu Bishvat everyone!!  It’s the birthday of the trees – the day we celebrate and contemplate the trees and growing things around us…Yes, we have a day for that.  It’s one of the few days that has no controversy surrounding it – there’s no historical issue – no revisionist propaganda –  no one who could argue that this is hurting someone or based in a racist philosophy or demands archeological proof that there were really trees in the ancient world.  We simply celebrate trees and the fruit or nuts they produce… oh oh, I said it…the word that brings shakes and quivers to the culinary industry…the word that makes every parent pale when it’s mentioned and causes stressful conversations before play dates…yes, the dreaded word – NUTS.

So to be politically correct, let’s agree to have a nut free Tu Bishvat.  But can we sing songs about nuts?  The first Tu Bishvat song I ever learned was ‘Hashkaidiyah Porachat’ (The Almond Tree is Blooming) and I made hand motions and pretended to be an almond tree.  Maybe all the kids who want to sing the almond song should be allowed to do so in the school office.

Though I understand that there are growing fruit allergies present in children as well.  Now we’re going to have to celebrate Tu Bishvat without fruit and nuts.  Um, gee, I think the only politically correct way to celebrate the birthday of the trees is with cake (nutfree of course).

Oh well, it’s tough being a Jew.

:0)

Texting on rachaels phone

Rachael Posted:

A few days ago I saw the movie “The Adjustment Bureau” starring Matt Damon and Emily Blunt.  I liked the movie because it was fun and not the thriller/chaser/blood & guts film you might expect.

For anyone who hasn’t seen the movie and wants to, please stop reading now because I’m going to discuss some of the core ideas.

The movie plays with the idea that there are many levels of ‘messengers’ or ‘agents’ who do the bidding of a higher power called ‘The Chairman’.  For every person there is a plan and these agents make sure that we are all staying on our plan because chance circumstances can sometimes derail things.  It’s a great concept to play with even to the point of having someone trip and fall which delays them just those few seconds needed to miss a bus etc. etc.

The bump in the plan is when the two heroes are determined to be together even though they’re not supposed to be.  The movie raises the question of whether or not you can change your plan.  After the movie I had a fantastic discussion about the Jewish themes that weave throughout the movie.  The concept of ‘angels‘ or ‘agents’ follows a Jewish thread but most importantly, the idea that determination and genuine heartfelt commitment can indeed change our fates, our ‘plans’.

That is the essence of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.  The idea that there is a destiny drafted for each of us but that we can effect that draft before it is sealed.  We are in part the creators of our own destinies.  That’s why Judaism says we should choose every action we take and not allow things to ‘just happen’.

I definitely recommend the movie.  :-)

Jacob Posted:

The above photograph was taken in the Situation Room of the White House on the eve of the Pakistan raid that led to Osama Bin Laden’s death. Der Zeitung, a Hasidic Jewish newspaper based in Brooklyn, published the photo with some very obvious changes. The version printed by Der Zeitung edited out the two women in the picture: Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and Director for Counterterroism for the National Security Council Audrey Tomason.

This sort of censorship and tweaking of reality is an example of the misogyny and fundamentalism that all religious institutions must seek to avoid. By distorting truth to conform to their own worldview, Der Zeitung is not practicing ethical journalism and is doing a disservice to their readers. A Washington Post article connects the dots between this example of extremism in the orthodox Jewish community and the treatment of women in Islamic fundamentalism.

The statement issued by Der Zeitung in response to the controversy said that, “because of laws of modesty, we are not allowed to publish pictures of women, and we regret if this gives an impression of disparaging to women, which is certainly never our intention.”

Of course, the problem with all fundamentalism is the strict adherence to a code of conduct without bothering to ask questions or rationalize. A completely literal interpretation of religion can lead to an oppressive mindset that perverts and undermines the original intention of righteousness in thought and action. All people should have the right to think for themselves and it is the responsibility of newspapers to present objective facts, not whitewashed versions of facts that do nothing to challenge the status quo.